You receive an email reminding you to complete your performance review. You look back at your work diary where all your tasks and achievements are written down. You realize you have missed out on certain goals, and begin dreading the review session with your manager. It’s the feedback mechanism you despise most. Why do we resist the idea of having an honest conversation that pushes us to grow and develop? Read on to find out how you can use this ‘feedback session’ to your advantage.

Make Negative Feedback Constructive

You dread criticism. Learning to welcome and accept it will help you use this feedback to your benefit. If your manager has taken the time and effort to give you feedback that seems negative, it means they care. Most people go through their careers never receiving any negative feedback. They are unaware of what they do wrong, and what they need to work on improving. Prepare yourself mentally to be open to the message your manager is trying to convey. By receiving this information, you see yourself from another person’s point of view. Acceptance of it shows your manager that you are willing to grow. There may be certain points shared that you do not agree with— this is completely understandable. Talk to more people to see if they have similar feedback. This will help you identify if there is a pattern that needs your attention or not. 

Ask Questions

Get clarity on what is being conveyed to you. If you feel confused or are curious about something, address it. Use this opportunity to give your manager feedback. You can do this by asking questions. If you do not get enough time with your manager try saying “Do you think we could reschedule our 1-on-1 discussion to a time more suitable?” instead of saying, “You never have the time to talk to me”. By adjusting the tone of your question, you make your intention clear while not upsetting your manager. Ask for guidance in the areas you struggle with. If you are unable to manage your workload, express your stress. You will receive help only if you ask for it. 

Share Your Opinion

Your manager highlights the fact that you have not hit your targets for the last few months. Use this time to converse with him and express your side of the story. You can highlight the challenges you are facing or the fact that you need more hands. It might give your manager an insight into your excessive workload. You will receive their support when they know you need it! On receiving feedback and understanding it, it is important to share your takeaway from it. Clarify that the communication process is clear. Use sentences like, “I understand your concern, thank you for sharing it with me”. In building this bridge you are also establishing the way forward. You’ll then talk about how to move forward and how to improve in the future. 

Now that you are better equipped, start asking for feedback at regular intervals. Any feedback that you receive, take it in your stride. Think of it as an opportunity to get better. Act on the feedback and go back to your manager with a plan in mind. It will reinforce your relationship as well as elevate your engagement. Learning to deal with feedback takes time, especially if you are just starting in your career. With an open mind, and the above pointers, you will feel less overwhelmed and more in control.