When we hear the iconic and over-abused term “The American Dream”, what instantly springs to mind is a picture-perfect little home with a picket fence hugging a carefully manicured lawn with pristine little kids running around. You don’t have to stress if you live in Australia in the hopes of achieving half of the dream. You could look into www.wabuildingcompany.com.au, in hopes of getting the house you’ve always dreamed of. While you might have spent most of your life striving for this, is it really what the dream is all about?

Some time ago I debated what the American Dream is and whether we Americans are living it at all, and came to the conclusion that, well, we aren’t. But then how do I fix this, you might be asking yourself. I’ll let you in on a little secret; stop chasing it.

Just stop.

Yes, that’s right, the only way to actually achieve it is to stop trying to achieve it. Yes, I know it sounds counter-productive but bear with me. Let’s back up a little and think about what the American Dream really is again. This is a broad and vague concept that basically throws a bunch of convoluted ideas about freedom, equality, and the pursuit of happiness around till something sticks and society comes up with a specific picture to fit its own current ideals of success and happiness.

The pursuit of this idealistic happiness consumes most of our lives, striving for something better. But what exactly is happiness? Each individual would describe this differently, and so, for decades the specifics of the American Dream keep changing and evolving until finally it’s defined by material possessions such as houses and cars and college degrees. We believe owning these things are a testament to our success, but when the monthly mortgage bills start adding up and we’re 50 and still don’t really own a house in the real sense of the word, we wonder what went wrong.

You were doing it for the wrong reasons

We spend so much time worrying about achieving the dream that we don’t stop to wonder what it really means and whether it is what we want. Our actions are driven by fear of failing to achieve happiness, not by passion to do great things, and this ironically is the death of our dream.

Also, if you do get to your imagined destination, what then? The grass is always greener on the other side my friend, and the fickle dream might just change again and you’ll be chasing after some new definition of success and happiness very soon. Stop dreaming the American Dream and start living, take that next step today. Change your life and find your passion. Find help with the Business Growth Accelerator.

So what do I do then?

Glad you asked. The whole idea of chasing the dream is flawed, as the dreamland is a mirage that you might never really attain, and the mere frustration of chasing it and the fear of never achieving it keeps us from realizing our true potential. Many people from across the world to have a slice of the American Dream. They work hard and are willing to learn, in order to prosper. For example, they are willing to invest time in order to perfect the language at somewhere like Effortless English Club. You run after the dream because that’s what you’re supposed to do, and you try to attain certain trademark ideals and generic goals that will paint the perfect picture of the dream you carry in your head, but this might not define true happiness for you.

So instead of running after the American Dream, create your own personal targets and do what you love. Happiness is not a destination but a way of life; sappy, but true. The most well-known success stories in the world come from people who never strived to achieve the generic requirements of the dream; Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs both don’t have the much sought after college degree, nor was owning a house a priority for them. They had a passion, and that’s what defined their goals and drove them to erect entire corporations, and the rest followed.

So I re-iterate the advice I gave last time, be your own boss and do what you love. Trying to achieve the “ American Dream ” paradoxically results in a meaningless and empty life akin to a nightmare, and you never do end up appreciating the chase itself. Play hard to get and don’t chase after it, and the dream will eventually find you on its own.