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You’ve Got To Delegate

with Mel Abraham



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Josh discusses leadership and control when it comes to your business.  We all have a hard time letting go and trusting others with responsibilities.  You must learn to overcome this obstacle or you’ll never be able to scale your business. You’ll learn here how to do this responsibly and in an effective way to grow your operations.

He also gets on the line with Mel Abraham, an entrepreneur expert, to talk about the importance of delegating your work, even when it means relinquishing your control.  Mel discusses his encounter with martial arts and how it allowed him to gain control within his life. Josh and Mel demonstrate how trying to force control won’t help accomplish anything.

They’ll show you the correct way to handle people in a variety of situations.

Free 60min Coaching strategy session ==> /joshfelberchpc


Josh discusses leadership and control when it comes to your business.  We all have a hard time letting go and trusting others with responsibilities.  You must learn to overcome this obstacle or you’ll never be able to scale your business. You’ll learn here how to do this responsibly and in an effective way to grow your operations.

He also gets on the line with Mel Abraham, an entrepreneur expert, to talk about the importance of delegating your work, even when it means relinquishing your control.  Mel discusses his encounter with martial arts and how it allowed him to gain control within his life. Josh and Mel demonstrate how trying to force control won’t help accomplish anything.

They’ll show you the correct way to handle people in a variety of situations.

Today, we want to talk a little bit about leadership, and letting go, and control, and how that’s going to make you a better leader, a better entrepreneur, and more successful in business and in life.

To gain control, we must often let go to move us further ahead. Tough times. As business owners, as entrepreneurs, you and I, when times get tough, we think, man, and you just try to grab for more control. Those are the times we need to let go of control. Trust. Delegate. To start making our businesses more successful.

For me, I’ve owned 15 different companies since I was 14 years old. For me, for a good chunk of that, I’ve had a big control issue. It’s been hard for me to let go of that control. I thought, as a business owner and as an entrepreneur, to micro manage people. Why is this not done, and to keep pushing them and keep pushing them was the way to make it happen faster. The way to make the process move along in a better manner.

One of the companies I owned was in the merchant processing business. We were a financial company. We had over 500 people workingfor us in 10 different sales offices across the United States. I thought the more pressure, and the more thumb that I had on my managers, had on our people, would continue to move us forward, and allow us to grow. I found out that wasn’t the case. We grew initially at a rapid pace, and was able to accomplish setting up 10 different sales offices, a telemarketing room. Then all of the sudden, things started to backslide. For me, why are we backsliding? Why are we starting to lose some of our market share?

I put more control and more pressure on our team to figure this out, and to get the job done. It kept accelerating. Finally, somebody came to me one day, and they’re like, Josh, you’re just trying to control the situationtoo much. I just, nah, nah. That’s the first thing you say. You don’t believe it. It’s not you. If you drink, and you have a drinking problem. The first thing when people go to alcohol, AA, is they’re just like, I don’t have a drinking problem. Then they listen to all the other people. They stand up, and say, hey, who I am, and this is my problem.

For me, I had to come to realization, yes, I was putting too much control on my team, on my management, to make things happen. For me, I had to take some steps back, and to really figure out how to start letting go of that control. The first part of that is admitting. I had to admit, yeah, Josh, I have a control problem. Part of that was asking others around me, whether it was my partner, whether it was my team of employees that worked with me.

The second thing was start with small steps. Start with small steps of trust and delegating tasks. The things that seem simple to you, give to other people to take, and move forward with. Give them the ability to make it happen. Give them that feeling and that freedom that it’s okay to fail. It’s okay to move forward with those tasks without you watching over them.

Number three is issue a clear, concise framework and guidelines for the team to follow. If you have clear, concise framework and guidelines for your employees to follow, then they’re able to work within those framework. To move forward, and be successful, and move the company forward.

Number four is focusing on empowering your team towards that vision, and towards that collaboration. Everybody is working towards one unified goal. That unified vision of the company, where you want it to go.

One of the things I found out, for me is, having too much control, nothing is going to happen. What happens is people sit there, and wait for your next order, or your next statement. Hey, I need you to go do this, or I need you to go do this. In turn, you have a lot of wasted time, and a lot of wasted money going out the door paying employees for tasks that they get done, then they wait for your next order.

Those are some steps for you to take, and move forward with. To help you figure out, do I have a control problem, and then how you can start releasing that control to other people.

You may feel the need to micro manage. You force your will on others. If that sounds familiar to you, then you may have a control issue. Over controlling leads to low morale, poor communication, and a lack of innovation within your company. For me, as a leader, implementing my influence in the right balance helps determine the level of success. For me, I had to find that right balance of influence, right balance of control, and the right balance of trust and delegation to help move my company toward success.

That’s what I want to challenge you with, is going out, to be able to find that right balance and that right influence on your employees, on your own team. To help you, and help empower you to move your company forward to success. To be a great leader, we have to let go of control. We have to move ourselves forward toward success, and empower others, and trust and delegate.

I’m excited for our next guest. We’ve been talking about leadership, and letting go of control. I have Mel Abraham. He’s the author of Entrepreneur’s Solution: The Modern Millionaires Path to More Profit. Founder of Business Breakthrough Academy, Thoughtpreneur Academy, Business Builder Toolkit. Helping entrepreneurs bring their businesses to the world. Build the lifestyle they want.

Mel has been the most sought after entrepreneurial mentor and strategic thinker of all time. Unlike so many other business coaches, Mel lives with everything he teaches and continues to do so. He’s built and bought and sold numerous multi-million dollar businesses for himself, as well as his clients. Mel, I’m excited to welcome you to the Making Bank Show, and learn about your journey, and your awesome ideas that you have to share with us.

Mel:                 Awesome, awesome. Great to talk to you, Josh. It’s a great honor to be on the show with you.

Josh:                Excellent. Mel, just to start off, tell us a little bit about your background. How you got started? What brought you to where you are today?

Mel:                 Much like many different entrepreneurs, I think we all get, many of us get started, either with a dream, or discontent, or a combination of both. I am a CPA by education, but an entrepreneur by exhilaration. I started an entrepreneurial journey when I was 11 years old, and I didn’t realize that then …

Josh:                Oh, wow.

Mel:                 … literally doing magic shows for birthday parties for 50 to 75 dollars an hour at 11 years old. Realizing that entrepreneurship, later on in the time, I realized entrepreneurship was a way to control my life, to create something of my own design. I didn’t follow the traditional path of the accountant, with the big firm, and went to go the route of being partner until that discontent settled in.

Josh:                Sure.

Mel:                 Realized that I was on someone else’s journey, I was on someone else’s life. Looking at the people around me, I had a vision as to what my life was going to be like in 5 to 7 years. I didn’t like what is was. Literally, in a moment, spun around at 10:30 at night, and walked into the partner’s office, and said, I’m out of here. This is the last time you’ll see me here. I never looked back.

Josh:                That had to be a big step in your career path. Did you have a objective when you walked in there? This is what I’m going to go do. This is where I’m headed. Or did you just, I’m done.

Mel:                 It’s funny, because I was kind of like, I was done, but I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I literally quit. A week later, and I’ve been in the martial arts for 40 plus years, a week later, I was in Japan for the next 4 or 5 months, just training in the martial arts, deciding what I was going to do.

Then when I came back … the one thing I did know what I wanted to do was I wanted to have a positive impact on people. I wanted to have more influence on them accomplishing their dreams, and supporting them in that journey, versus what the traditional accountant path was better.

Josh:                Sure.

Mel:                 I knew that. Whatever I did when I came back from Japan, that it would be in that vein. I didn’t have it detailed out, or didn’t have the clarity at that time when I left. I did when I came back.

Josh:                One of the things we’ve been talking about today, Mel, is being a great leader. Is letting go of that control. That’s sounds like you walking in, just quitting at the CPA firm, and heading to Japan to train for 4 months in martial arts. That’s letting go of control. Being in martial arts teaches you the value of letting go of control, but also, how to manage and understand control, as well. Can you give us some insight on what, from your perspective, how it’s helped build you as a great entrepreneur and leader?

Mel:                 Thanks, this is a great question. Really, the whole concept of control, in some sense, it’s a metaphor. You really can’t control anything. I think that we respond, hopefully we don’t react or respond to the things around us, but we try as entrepreneurs, and I know I do, I still have that conservative bent, that left brain analytical side of it …

Josh:                Right.

Mel:                 …  an accountant, that is risk adverse and uncertainty adverse. The thought is, that if I can control everything, then I can take care of that. It’s a fallacy that we get into. What happens is, when we allow ourselves to let go, to realize that there are certain things that just happen in our life, in our business, that we can’t control, that we should not control for a variety of reasons, and touch on those, that other opportunities, other areas of growth, other things will come into our life. Had I not walked away, and did what I did, the tremendous opportunities that presented themselves, I wouldn’t have been open to them.  …

Josh:                Sure.

Mel:                 … we call it in the book, the Corridor Principle. The doors of opportunity are not when you’re stuck in the room, it’s when you get into the hall and the corridor. There’s all kind of doors, that when you take action, you allow yourself to be open, and say, I’m going to let things go a little bit. I’m going to let go of them, and see what happens.

Josh:                Excellent. That’s some great insights, Mel, with the aspect of control. One of the things I want to touch base on is how martial arts has helped you being able to manage control, as well as let go of control. I think it’s an effective tool to allow us to do that. What we’re going to do when we get back from break here in a minute, is I’d love to touch base with you on that. For myself, as an entrepreneur, one of my big things, for many years, was I had to micro manage, and really be in control of everything. I thought I was the best one to do it, to get the job done. I know we’ve all experienced it.

Mel:                 Oh, absolutely.

Mel:                 Yeah, you’ve got it. There’s a couple of principles in the martial arts. When you spend the kind of time doing martial arts that you have or I have, you can’t help but lean into our life, and the way we see life, and the way do things. Two elements of martial arts that come into play. I think, one, the foundation, the stance, the base, it’s the fundamentals of business don’t change. Doing those repetitively over time is where you create mastery. Where you create artistry, in the process of being disciplined in that process. This is what happens. From a business standpoint, from an entrepreneurial standpoint, to look at it, and say, what are the fundamentals of business, [crosstalk 00:15:53] …

Josh:                Sure.

Mel:                 … and what’s going to drive my business? What’s going to drive revenue? What’s going to drive customers? What’s going to drive the relationships with that? Be disciplined about doing that repeatedly. Over and over again, and looking to create mastery at that level.

The second thing I think that comes from it, is that we were taught never to really go force against force, because that’s damaging on both …

Josh:                Right.

Mel:                 … and it’s not as effective. To blend, in a sense, by moving. I think that is one of the things that we need to think about in the market. Many times we come up with an idea, and entrepreneurs have a plethora of ideas, that’s not their challenge. The challenge is to focus on one, and then to listen to the marketplace, and see what the market tells them about that idea.

Josh:                Right.

Mel:                 Be flexible enough in the path, in the way you get there, to say, this is the destination. I want to build this. Let’s look at Apple. They wanted to revolutionize the mobile phone industry. They started down this path, and they knew that the ultimate goal was to revolutionize the industry. They weren’t sure that way they were going to get there, but they were going to listen to the market. They were going to look at the trends. They were going to be flexible in the journey knowing that the destination doesn’t change.

Josh:                Right.

Mel:                 … that are the two elements that come from the martial arts, that come into business a lot.

Josh:                Awesome. Those are some great tips. Mastery and being able to, the force on force, being able to flow with everything, and change as you need to change, to really make things happen. What are three steps? I don’t know if you’ve ever been in a business situation, where you tried to exert control, and didn’t realize, that’s just the wrong path. Then by letting go, you were able to then accomplish those goals, to move your business forward, or help sell a business for one of your clients, or worked with one of your clients, from that perspective.

Mel:                 I call them Rules for Resolution. A couple of things that come into play with it, is, I learned during negotiations, that we need to negotiate from a place of empathy. It doesn’t mean that we cave. It doesn’t mean that we give in. It means that we understand the other side. Understand where they’re coming from. What happens, if we don’t, we go in, into what I call a Demand-a-Lot. We go into a negotiation, whether it’s a lawsuit or just a buyout, and here’s our demands. Here’s what I expect.

Josh:                Right. For sure.

Mel:                 That’s force against force. I had a case where I was helping a guy who, unfortunately, was struggling with cancer, and we were negotiating the buyout of his business with his partners. He wanted to go in with this Demand-a-Lot. I said, listen, Jim, this is not going to work. As soon as we make demands, they dig the heels in as to why they can’t fulfill those demands.

Josh:                Right.

Mel:                 Versus positioning them in a way that puts them on the same side of the table. He was ready to go in, and ask the questions, the context, of why. Why can’t we do this? Why can’t we do that? The only answer to that is the resistance of why they can’t. I said, let’s change it. One of the Rules of Resolution in the book, that I talk about, is let’s change it to questions that presuppose the solution. We switched his questions from why questions to how questions.

Josh:                Oh, wow. Okay. Sure.

Mel:                 What we did is we went from force to blending. We then turned around, and that negotiation, he walked out of there, he said, that was the easiest negotiation I’ve ever been through. I said, when we sit on the same side of the table, by using the right language, by understanding them through empathy, we can negotiate a different way. We ended up with an outcome that he could have never imagined in that process.

Josh:                That’s some great wisdom, Mel. Being able to blend together like that, like you talked about, definitely helps you move forward, and be able to achieve the things that you want to achieve for both parties, as well. I know you have a new book that’s getting released. The Entrepreneur’s Solution. Why don’t you give us a quick one minute overview of what that book’s about, and how all of us as entrepreneurs, how it can help us move forward, by engaging and reading your book?

Mel:                 Awesome. Josh, thank you. It’s The Entrepreneur’s Solution: The Modern Millionaires Path to Profit. [inaudible 00:20:55]. This is a book that came out of basically a shoelace, a bike accident. I was riding my bike down a hill, and my shoelace got caught and pulled me out, completely cold. I couldn’t speak. I had no feeling on the right side.

Josh:                Oh, wow.

Mel:                 I started to struggle, to think about, I was a single, full time dad. Did I give my son what he needed in life? I knew he was taken care of financially, because I took care of that.

Josh:                Sure.

Mel:                 Did I give him the tools? Did I give him the philosophy? Did I give him this? This book started out as a manual to him. Now my son is 25. He started his business at 16. It’s thriving. He’s basically lived the book [crosstalk 00:21:42].

Josh:                That’s awesome.

Mel:                 Yeah. The book is meant to give you a guide on how to do business. It’s not necessarily going to say, here’s the accounting system you want, but it’s going to talk about the why. It’s going to get clarity on vision, purpose, passion, moving you forward. How do you use these things to create a loyal following? Now we’ve got the mindset right of business, and the action mechanics will flow from that.

Josh:                Awesome. Mel, I really appreciate you being on today. I was excited to have you on the show. I’m Josh Felber, host of the Making Bank TV show, on the Whatever It Takes Network.

Free 60min Coaching strategy session ==> /joshfelberchpc